A kindhearted woman gains honor, but ruthless men gain only wealth. Those who are kind benefit themselves, but the cruel bring ruin on themselves. (Proverbs 11:16-17)
Kind (Adj) having or showing a friendly, generous, and considerate nature.
Before we really get started, I have to say that I love how the second half of verse 16 is said: “…but ruthless men gain only wealth.” Solomon was ridiculously wealthy, and I think he had an idea of the vanity of wealth. Take wealth away, and many wealthy folks have nothing left.
Now… Kindness. Let’s start with this. Which of the following would involve the greatest demonstration of kindness? You open the door for… a) someone in a wheelchair, b) someone with a baby in one arm and two bags on the other, c) a businessman talking on a cell phone, d) someone who looks like he/she lifts weights, just ending a jog, e) someone carrying a big, heavy box. They all show kindness, but I suspect your answer probably had to do with greater kindness being shown to those who are less able to do for themselves. I’m not sure what I think about this. Yes, it makes perfect sense. I want it to be true, but it’s contrary to Scripture that tells us “… do not show favoritism to a poor person in a lawsuit.” (Exodus 23:3 Yes, I know it’s talking specifically about a lawsuit, but I suspect that favoritism in our own judgments is equally wrong.) I feel the tension here, and my response is that I need to be kind to all (to open the door for everyone), but that what is kindness to one may not be kindness – or as much kindness – to the next. Be kind, but don’t throw your brain out the window. Use it to figure out the best sort of kindness to show.
Today’s passage also holds an interesting scientific note. Some may take the “Those who are kind benefit themselves” as some sort of “You’ve earned a reward in heaven” sort of thinking, but science is finding that being kind improves one’s health, reduces stress, and can even produce a narcotic-like “helper’s high.” Kindness does benefit those who are kind. It is better to give than to receive… scientifically. It’s not “don’t worry… be happy,” it’s “be kind… be happy.”
But with all that having been said about kindness, I cannot neglect to point out a different behavior, or a different motivation for what seems to be kindness: greed. In Shelby Steele’s book, White Blindness, Mr. Steele told of being at an “event” involving wealthy benefactors of the Civil Rights Movement back in the 60s or 70s. To put it simply, the benefactor in question had the attitude of “after all I’ve done for your people, you really ought to show me some gratitude. I deserve your (undying) gratitude.” Some people show kindness so that they can pat themselves on the back for what wonderful folks they are or to reinforce their sense of superiority. I know some people who can’t wait to tell you what wonderful people they are, how much they or their loved ones have done for other people, groups of people, causes, etc. And because they have done these good things, the rest of us are supposed to fall down and worship, to agree with anything they say. I think the greatest kindness is the sort that doesn’t have strings attached.
Kind (Adj) having or showing a friendly, generous, and considerate nature.
Before we really get started, I have to say that I love how the second half of verse 16 is said: “…but ruthless men gain only wealth.” Solomon was ridiculously wealthy, and I think he had an idea of the vanity of wealth. Take wealth away, and many wealthy folks have nothing left.
Now… Kindness. Let’s start with this. Which of the following would involve the greatest demonstration of kindness? You open the door for… a) someone in a wheelchair, b) someone with a baby in one arm and two bags on the other, c) a businessman talking on a cell phone, d) someone who looks like he/she lifts weights, just ending a jog, e) someone carrying a big, heavy box. They all show kindness, but I suspect your answer probably had to do with greater kindness being shown to those who are less able to do for themselves. I’m not sure what I think about this. Yes, it makes perfect sense. I want it to be true, but it’s contrary to Scripture that tells us “… do not show favoritism to a poor person in a lawsuit.” (Exodus 23:3 Yes, I know it’s talking specifically about a lawsuit, but I suspect that favoritism in our own judgments is equally wrong.) I feel the tension here, and my response is that I need to be kind to all (to open the door for everyone), but that what is kindness to one may not be kindness – or as much kindness – to the next. Be kind, but don’t throw your brain out the window. Use it to figure out the best sort of kindness to show.
Today’s passage also holds an interesting scientific note. Some may take the “Those who are kind benefit themselves” as some sort of “You’ve earned a reward in heaven” sort of thinking, but science is finding that being kind improves one’s health, reduces stress, and can even produce a narcotic-like “helper’s high.” Kindness does benefit those who are kind. It is better to give than to receive… scientifically. It’s not “don’t worry… be happy,” it’s “be kind… be happy.”
But with all that having been said about kindness, I cannot neglect to point out a different behavior, or a different motivation for what seems to be kindness: greed. In Shelby Steele’s book, White Blindness, Mr. Steele told of being at an “event” involving wealthy benefactors of the Civil Rights Movement back in the 60s or 70s. To put it simply, the benefactor in question had the attitude of “after all I’ve done for your people, you really ought to show me some gratitude. I deserve your (undying) gratitude.” Some people show kindness so that they can pat themselves on the back for what wonderful folks they are or to reinforce their sense of superiority. I know some people who can’t wait to tell you what wonderful people they are, how much they or their loved ones have done for other people, groups of people, causes, etc. And because they have done these good things, the rest of us are supposed to fall down and worship, to agree with anything they say. I think the greatest kindness is the sort that doesn’t have strings attached.
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