Trouble and anguish have come upon me, Yet Your commandments are my delight. (Psalm 119:143)
If you know me, you know I don’t deal well with “Thou shalt.”
Some people are more flexible, more cooperative. I can be flexible and
cooperative, if you approach me the right way, and if you give me time to turn “Thou
shalt” into “I shalt,” but if the pronoun says “thou” then you have an uphill
battle against a fort with very thick walls. So when the composer says “Your
commandments are my delight” my initial reaction is to choke on the words. “Not
my will, but Thine be done”? “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, in my life
(on Earth) as it is in heaven”? Those are challenging prayers.
In Soul-Keeper, John Ortberg writes about another
book: The Honest Truth About Dishonesty: How We Lie to Everyone, by Dan
Ariely. In it, Mr. Ariely concludes that we have two general
motivations. We want what we want and are willing to lie, cheat, etc., to get
it. We also want to view ourselves as being good people. This produces a
conflict, a separation within us – one for which we must somehow justify ourselves,
or risk losing something dear to us (either the things we want, or our
self-image as a good person.) I’m not a glutton, but I want that treat. Uh oh.
One of the things I discovered when I lost weight 20 years
ago is that coming to the point where I could say, “I’m fat” (a form of “I’m
not a good person”) was when I was able to do something about it. And when I
can’t say it, or when I can’t say I’m a glutton, or when I say, “I’m a victim
here!” I can’t. I can’t act in conflict with myself. It tears me apart and
sends the parts in opposite directions.
We tell ourselves that we aren’t hurting anyone…much…who
doesn’t deserve it. If we’re hurting ourselves, well, that’s our business. But
the truth is that we can’t be separated from ourselves without then separating
ourselves from others, because we can’t keep looking good to ourselves if
others are pointing out that we’re doing something harmful to ourselves. We can’t
even keep looking good to ourselves if there’s a chance they might not agree.
What’s ironic is that we celebrate the one who stops doing something
harmful. Have you ever heard people say that someone who has fought alcoholism,
or addiction or some other bad thing in their life is a fool who is ruining
his/her life by trying to overcome the addiction or bad thing? We might not
like the vehemence with which they speak against a thing we don’t see as a
problem for us, but I can’t even imagine a group of friends and family seeking the
assistance of some professional to intervene in the life of a loved one because
the loved one isn’t drinking enough alcohol, or using drugs enough, or abusing a
spouse or children or pets enough.
We celebrate those who overcome these things that tear them
and their families apart. But we want what we want, and it doesn’t matter if it’s
not good for us. Either we don’t have a problem, or what we have isn’t a
problem, or – if it is a problem we have it under control. And if we clearly
don’t have it under control, then, well, we’re the victims, so pity us and give
us what we no longer want, but need.
The thing is, God’s commandments aren’t like that. God’s
commandments require, demand, impose, and work against what we want, but they work
to prevent the want from becoming a need. The principles of Scripture are
freeing, not restricting.
Comments
Post a Comment