Many Members

           For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. (Romans 12:4-5) 

And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’  This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matthew 22:37-39) 

Today’s passages hit close to home. The passage from Matthew is my mission statement. It’s what I want my life to be, to do, and to say. And, of course, as with any ideal, I fall short of it every day. I just can’t do all the things I think I need to do in order to be and to do everything, especially as a single, older woman.

I have friends who are very invested in evangelism and missions, and I say, “More power to’em!” and then I think, “What’s wrong with me?” I know people who speak of a prayer life that casts mountains into the sea, and I repeat what I said, and what I thought.

I try to remind myself that I’m trying to be a writer and that my stories (read thoughtfully) could influence people – if anyone reads them at all – and I feel like a failure. Oh – I remember what I have written over the past few days about temptation and accusation. And that’s really the point here. I look at my life, and instead of praising God for what He is doing with this member of His body, I’m grieving at my failure to do something other parts of the Body do – and sometimes what those parts of the Body insist that I should be doing.

At the same time, I fear that my struggles in this area – my resisting being what I think others expect or command me to be is my excuse for disobedience to God. Am I following the path God has given to me to follow? Am I being rebellious? Or am I being lazy and making excuses?  And the accusatory and tempting voices begin their susurration.[1] And then this verse comes to mind: 

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)  

And 

Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” (John 21:22) 

I don’t think the passage from Matthew promises us that our lives will be easy and without challenges, but when others are doing something good, we don’t have to listen to the accusations that we’re being disobedient. We should take it to the Lord and ask Him whether that burden is one we are to take. And if God has called us to some other burden, we shouldn’t listen to the whispers about someone else.

There is a point in C.S. Lewis’ book, Prince Caspian that speaks to this. Lucy sees Aslan and tells the others, but they don’t believe her and choose to go in the opposite direction. That night, Lucy meets Aslan, who tells her that she should have followed him even if the others didn’t and that now, she had to go tell them again, and if they didn’t listen, she was to go by herself. In her case, the others decided to follow her. In your case or mine, others may have a different path. So long as we are following Him, that’s what’s important.

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[1] For the meaning of the word, quietly say the first syllable: sus-sus-sus – it’s like having water drip on your forehead.