Discipline

                Discipline your children, for in that there is hope, do not be a willing party to their death. (Proverbs 19:18)

                According to the authors of Generations, each generation seeks to correct the errors it believes the preceding generation or two made. One result is that the rearing of children swings like a pendulum between too domineering and too smothering, or between too attentive and virtually negligent.  The Millennials were seen, it seems to me, as golden children. They were our future, our hope, and could do nothing wrong, but we expected a great deal of them. The I-Geners or Z-Geners seem to have been, in some ways, the heir of the Millennials, reigning supreme but with no real expectations of them except “self-realization” in whatever form they decide to take it. Others may, of course, have very different perspectives on this.

                The discipline the Millennials faced was the discipline necessary to fulfill their parents' wishes. They were schlepped from music lessons to soccer lessons, defended from poor grades, and showered with all the awards and celebrations their parents missed. The “discipline” the I-Geners face moves the star about which Jiminy Cricket chirped from the sky to their hearts. It’s no longer that they can accomplish great things, but that they can be whatever they want. There is no discipline that they don’t choose. That’s why we have roving packs of predatory kids attacking people just for the joy of being hateful.

                Our children need discipline. We need discipline so that we’re teaching them the right things. Discipline makes being a good person possible. Some of the discipline they and we need is moral discipline, but there’s also the discipline of life skills. This morning, as I’m trying to write this post, I’m feeling the lack of discipline. It was supposed to be written yesterday, but I had to take the truck in for inspection, and in the midst of that disruption, I forgot I hadn’t written it. My discipline failed.

                As I think about the issue of discipline, of course, my perfectionism screams that I am an absolute failure at it. That’s not entirely true, of course. I’m quite disciplined about beating myself up for not being good enough. I regularly stand by while my thoughts and feelings run amok like the roving packs of teens I mentioned two paragraphs back. We all need discipline of one sort or another. Often, building discipline in one area results in reduced discipline in another. And it’s so much easier to go with the flow.

                So here’s my suggestion for the day. It’s not to plan the whole day that you’re going to be disciplined by doing this or that. Instead, it’s to stop and smell the sewage of your lack of discipline at any given moment. By all means, if there are roses instead of sewage, pick the roses – but if you find yourself wallowing in the same old thoughts, the same old bad habits, notice it. Pay attention and then do something different.