Dear friends, I am not writing you a new command but an old one, which you have had since the beginning. This old command is the message you have heard. Yet I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in him and you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining. Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him.(I John 2:7-11)
“I love _________.” (Name your favorite food)
“I love _________” (Name your favorite celebrity, someone you’ve have never met)
“I love _________” (Name your child or a child to whom you’re related.)
“I love __________” (Name a pet or your favorite animal.)
“I love __________” (Name your favorite activity or hobby.)
People know the Bible talks about loving others. They are quick to point out when, in their opinion, someone who claims to be a Christian is not being loving enough. Right after they make that accusation, they may well proclaim that we shouldn’t judge others. The last time I pointed out to someone who said such a thing that she was judging me, she informed me that she was not, she was just reading what I was saying.
Others inform me that “love is love.” Really? You love your favorite food, your favorite pet or animal, your favorite child, your favorite celebrity, your favorite hobby and your favored significant other in precisely the same way? “Oh, well, no, of course not! (Though in the case of the celebrity…)” Clearly, not all uses of the word “love” mean the same, no matter what some portions of society want you to believe.
One of the rules for proper study of Scripture is to interpret words according to what they meant in the time they were written. The Greek word we transliterate as agape is often interpreted as Unconditional Love, but the love part is still left undefined. It’s “love” no matter what, whatever that means. Often, in our society, it seems to mean that we will let the “loved” one do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, where ever he wants, however he wants, to whomever he wants “as long as there is consent and no one else is being harmed. But what does “harmed” mean?
There are a number of Greek words that can be translated into the English word love. There is eros, which refers to sexual love. It may also mean romantic love, or there may be another word for that. There is phileo which refers to brotherly love (hence, Philadelphia.) I suspect there are terms for both motherly love and fatherly love. And then there is agape.
The Bible describes agape… Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (I Corinthians 13:4-8) I wish that described me. I wish it described all those who can’t wait to tell me how big a failure I am at loving. You know what? I’ll willing to bet you’d find examples of times when you’d say that doesn’t even describe God. But “God is love.” So how do you fit those pieces together.
Outside of Scripture, I found a definition of love that has helped me. I can’t find the full quote at the moment, but it’s from Hannah Hurnard’s books Hinds’ Feet In High Places and Mountains Of Spices. Love is a consuming fire. It is an unquenchable desire for what is in the best interest of the beloved. It is terrible in what it will endure for the sake of the beloved, and terrible in what it will require the beloved to endure in its goal for what is best for the beloved. There is no fluttering heart there. Here are not fluttering eye-lashes. This isn’t “anything, anywhere, anyhow, any time, as long as it doesn’t harm,” this is, “No, it’s not what is best for you. It does not require the best of you."
And who gets to define what is best? For the Christian, Scripture should, and nature/science as a reflection of Scripture. Why not let society define it? Perhaps because society is currently saying that words mean whatever you want them to.
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