Skip to main content

When The Brain Throws Its Own Private Party


That night the king could not sleep; so he ordered the book of the chronicles, the record of his reign, to be brought in and read to him.  It was found recorded there that Mordecai had exposed Bigthana and Teresh, two of the king’s officers who guarded the doorway, who had conspired to assassinate King Xerxes. “What honor and recognition has Mordecai received for this?” the king asked. “Nothing has been done for him,” his attendants answered. (Esther 6:1-3) 

          I can relate to poor King Xerxes. I yawn, my brain calls for the bouncer to throw me out, so it can lock up, and the clock tells me it’s time to go to bed. I put everything away, turn out the light, crawl into bed and… I’m wide awake. My mind is racing a hundred miles an hour trying to figure out (in last night’s case) a quilting pattern that will somehow represent the nine surviving (until recently) jidekers (schools/libraries.) It’s not a difficult pattern, but which color goes with which jideker? Is there a symbol that I can try to find in a fabric, etc. The king’s solution is probably better than mine. If I got up and read for five minutes, or wrote for five minutes in my journal, I’d probably fall right to sleep. I just let the mind that kicked me out have its own private party for a couple hours and take a nap or two the next day when I’m supposed to be working.
           Xerxes calls on his staff to come read to him of the glories of his past deeds. “Once upon a time… some insignificant, regular guy named Mordecai discovered a plot to assassinate the king. He reported it, and the ensuing investigation saved the king’s life. The end.” 
          “Wait…wait… you missed a part. What happened to the ‘happily ever after’? I mean, yes, I have lived happily ever after, but what about Mordecai?”
          “What about Mordecai?”
          “Well, did I, I don’t know, pay off his school loans? His mortgage? Did I give him a job? Did I invite him to a party? Did I even send him a worthless thank you note?” (Clerk’s translation: did you, did anyone?)
         Clerk reads associated memos. “Um, no.”
          “Well, we’ve got to do something!”
          The clerk thinks, “We? How about going to sleep?”
          Three more reasons why it’s good to journal. It helps when you can’t sleep, it reminds you of your shortcomings and your goals, and it gives you ideas.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Right Road

          Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. (Psalm 139:7-12)                  For years before GPSes existed, I told people I wanted something in my car that would tell me, “Turn left in half a mile…turn left in a quarter mile…turn left in 500 feet… turn left in 100 feet…turn left now …You missed the turn, Dummy!” The problem isn’t necessarily that I get lost so much as I’m afraid I’ll get lost. I don’t want to have to spend my whole trip stressing over the next turn. I have the same problem with my spiritual journey.   

Died as a Ransom

                 For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance—now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant. (Hebrews 9:15)                  This is something I’d really rather not think about but here it is and it’s important. I was reading in Bold Love about seeking revenge.  The author wrote of seeking justice when a supposed Christian does something sinful, harmful, and/or horrific, like sexually abusing a daughter.  And the thought that came to mind was of God asking if Jesus’ death was sufficient payment to me for the sin committed against me.                I have no specific longing for revenge, vengeance, or justice. I’m sure there are some lurking somewhere in my heart, but this wasn’t a response to one. It was more a question of principle. Jesus’ death was sufficient payment for to God for our sins.  That’s the standard Sunday Schoo

Hearts

                    Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it . (Proverbs 4:23) The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9) “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. (Matthew 23:27)           We all like to see ourselves as pretty good folks. We’re not perfect. We may even admit that we are sinners saved by grace, but we’re not murderers, rapists, or abusers of children, women, or animals. Some of us alternate this view with the conviction that we are miserable, worthless worms who can’t do anything right, but at least we’re not murderers, rapists, or abusers of children, women, or animals. You can add whatever horrible thing that you don’t do to the list. It always proves that we aren’t as bad as we could be.  At the very least, our int