Closing The Books

Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and the Lord your God redeemed you. That is why I give you this command today. (Deuteronomy 15:15)

give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (I Thessalonians 5:18)

          Christmas is over, in some ways, much too soon. In other ways, not soon enough. I’d love to hold on to the spiritual part for another month, but I’m glad the “stuff and nonsense” is done. Another holiday looms on the horizon: New Year’s Day. And somehow, New Year’s Day 2020 seems more significant than New Year’s Day 2019. Maybe it’s just the beginning of a new decade, but technically, every new year begins and ends a decade. It’s just that only ten percent of them begin a “magical” decade that has a corresponding decimal number. Or, maybe the science fiction we’re read and watched over the years has spoken of the glory that would supposedly be ours this year.

          As is my habit, I’m beginning the week between Christmas and New Years with a call to remember. Before we open the books on 2020, we need to close the books on 2019.

          The first order of business, I think, is forgiving others. Who has offended you? Who has offended me? Is there anyone to whose home you would not go, even if invited, or anyone you would not want to have show up at your door because of bad feelings between you? Don’t carry that forward to next year.

          In a similar way, we need to forgive ourselves. I tend to assume that I have offended many. I’ve offended myself by not exercising enough self-control. I didn’t do many things I wanted to do, and I did many I didn’t. For me, those are standard. I may not even be able to identify all the ways I’ve offended myself. I need to forgive myself. Forgiveness is the first step in closing the books on a year, but it’s like music. You are likely to return to it repeatedly in the middle of a song.

          The other side of the remembering coin is celebration and gratitude. What positive things happened? How were you able to bless? How were you blessed? For what are you thankful? Dare yourself to make a list. Once you begin, you may find the list to be longer than you thought.

          This past year, I have been hugely blessed, given opportunities, rescued from mistakes, and protected from my own foolishness. I’m pretty sure I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I’ve come through challenges and there have been failures. Who of us hasn’t? My life feels like the window in the motorhome, still in place, but shattered into several thousand pieces and held together by two veneers of contact paper and some plastic.

          And in the end, as I consider all the good, all the bad, all the difficult, and all that just fell into place, the conclusion I must reach is that I was greatly blessed in 2019. For all the negative that comes so easily to mind when I think back, the positive slips in more quietly but with greater strength.

          As I think of this past year, the image that comes to mind is the Ellie Schiller Homosassa Springs Wildlife State Park. In a lot of ways, it’s a zoo that has almost entirely animals that are native to Florida. They make an exception for a hippo named Louis. But it’s not just a zoo. It’s a wildlife rehab facility. Some animals there are nursed back to health and returned to the wild. The long-term residents have problems that make it impossible to free them. Then there are the freeloaders: wild manatees and birds who hang out because it’s convenient. In some ways, it’s hard to visit. If we’re going to visit a zoo, we’d prefer the exhibits to be shining examples of their kind, not cripples.

           This year has been a time of rehabilitation for me, I think. Sometimes, I suspect that my problems are too great, and that I’ll never be released back to the “wild,” but I have two havens where I am able to live in spite of my flaws, injuries, and failures.

As I approach the end of the year, these are things I need to release, and onto which I need to hold. Overall, as tough as the year was, I am still thankful. How about you?