Rock And Fortress

Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me. (Psalm 31:3) 

          Over the past week, something happened that led me to believe that God was telling me to get a move on, and I jumped… in the wrong direction. That leads me to feel like a fool, to be hurt (by my own hand), and to feel vulnerable and afraid. I can’t say that I’m responding the way I’d like to. Unless someone else complicates things, all that is left is to resolve things with that someone. That probably won’t be pleasant – that someone is likely to be angry and disappointed, and I can’t blame that person. They thought they were rid of a problem, and I’m giving it back. The problem for me is that I don’t see nobility, peace, faith, hope, or love in what I’m doing, but I’m not a good judge when it comes to myself.

             I’m not sharing this for any commiserating assurances of “There, there, it will be all right.” One way or another, it will be all right. That doesn’t really change the recent past or the present. I’ve learned at least one important lesson, but there are lessons I’m learning that I need to be careful about. They are wrong directions, too. So, as usual, my prayer request is wisdom, direction, and attitude. All three are critical.

And all three are found in today’s passage. The wisdom and attitude are found in the assertion that God is my rock and fortress, and in the reason: “for the sake of Your name.” What does all that mean, though? A rock and a fortress don’t mean we won’t be attacked, or that the flood-waters won’t rise. We wouldn’t need fortresses or rocks if those things didn’t happen. The big question is whether God’s rescue of me from my circumstances is for the sake of His name. Most of the time, I suspect that there’s at least a measure of “for the sake of my comfort” in there. If God is my rock and fortress, I don’t need to feel afraid. I’d like to think that the way I’ve been able (so far) to extricate myself from my error is God’s intervention.

          The direction part is found in the plea for God to guide. All I have left is dealing with the other person/people involved, and people are always the problem. I feel rescued and protected but… paragraph one, too. And – having just spoken with the person involved, I’m in tears again at God’s intervention. I expected drama. I got none. Now, I’m back to square one with the problem that led to my bad choice.

          I don’t know how any of this involves for the sake of His name. It seems too mundane to me, but that’s another of the point. For the sake of His name may not have to do with what makes Him look all polished, detached, superior, and regal. It may have to do with his being the kind of God who cares for people who make stupid mistakes, and who don’t handle them as well as we think we should, who is willing to reach into the pool of diarrhea in which we’re wallowing, drag us out again, and clean us up again.

          Some time ago, I reached the conclusion that self-control was learning to deal with our own dirty diapers, and I think that’s true, but I think that sometimes, the way we have to deal with them is to turn to our Father.