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Trust

        And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

        Just Haven't Seen It Yet

             A friend shared this video and it brought the verse from Romans to mind. I happened to listen to it as I was trying to write some of Zheann’s musings. The song strikes home for both of us. Zheann is trying to figure out what some people are up to, and when a fairly innocent possibility comes to mind, she snorts. Everyone has an angle. Even the innocent possibility just means they want to use her.

                Her thoughts aren’t quite mine, but as I listen to this song – for the third time now – I’m struggling just as much with cynicism. All His promises are up ahead? Maybe I just haven’t seen it yet? Why can’t I trust? On the one hand, I know that He has blessed me – beyond measure. Lavishly. On the other hand, I know better than to go with the name it and claim it route. On the third hand, I don’t know think I know how to trust. I don’t know how to live a life that isn’t about battle, and too many of the battles seem to me to have ended in loss. And I know that that third hand is both truth and lie. But what I know is that the result is that when I say, “And I know that in all things God works for my good…”

I am probably fighting the same battle I mentioned recently: HU NY. Because I can’t move forward yet, because I’m spinning my wheels, as it were, there’s energy that can’t go anywhere except in directions it shouldn’t – into doubts, anxiety, fear, distrust. And as I listen to the song, I ask myself why it is I can’t believe that the future is a wonderful place, full of God and the good things He chooses to bring into my life. And the answer is, because I’m not believing it. I’m not thinking about it, planning for it.

So, OK, then. Who am I going to believe? I have books to write and things to do. Time to break the Eeyore habit.

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