And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)
Her thoughts
aren’t quite mine, but as I listen to this song – for the third time now – I’m struggling
just as much with cynicism. All His promises are up ahead? Maybe I just haven’t
seen it yet? Why can’t I trust? On the one hand, I know that He has blessed me –
beyond measure. Lavishly. On the other hand, I know better than to go with the
name it and claim it route. On the third hand, I don’t know think I know how to
trust. I don’t know how to live a life that isn’t about battle, and too many of
the battles seem to me to have ended in loss. And I know that that third hand
is both truth and lie. But what I know is that the result is that when I say, “And
I know that in all things God works for my good…”
I am probably fighting the same
battle I mentioned recently: HU NY. Because I can’t move forward yet, because I’m
spinning my wheels, as it were, there’s energy that can’t go anywhere except in
directions it shouldn’t – into doubts, anxiety, fear, distrust. And as I listen
to the song, I ask myself why it is I can’t believe that the future is a wonderful
place, full of God and the good things He chooses to bring into my life. And
the answer is, because I’m not believing it. I’m not thinking about it,
planning for it.
So, OK, then. Who am I going to
believe? I have books to write and things to do. Time to break the Eeyore
habit.
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