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Where Do You Set The Bar?

 

Since you call on a Father who judges each person’s work impartially, live out your time as foreigners here in reverent fear. For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors,  but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. (I Peter 1:17-19) 

“It’s my life…my body…my right!”

“I can do what I want, with whom I want, when I want, where I want, in the manner that I want, and as much as I want…as long as I don’t (think I) hurt anyone.”

People talk about Narcissism as if it’s either someone else’s problem or a problem for them only if someone else is the Narcissist. But Scripture has been pointing out the folly of vanity since the days of Solomon, and probably much longer. In fact, our word, vanity comes from a Latin term meaning “empty.” So when Peter says that “it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors,” he could have used the word vain instead of empty.

And vanity is at the heart of the I, me, my, myself claims we make so casually. Consider …

“It’s my life…my body…my right!” So instead of doing things that will last, that will help, last, benefit, build strength, demonstrate love, or in any way produce a positive outcome, I’ll waste it by being short-sighted, selfish, useless, petty, thoughtless or even destructive just because it makes me feel good for 10 minutes. Empty. Vain.

The problem is that these statements are examples of assumed privilege. It’s saying, “I am telling you in no uncertain terms that you absolutely have no right to tell me how to live my life. Now, do as I command you to. Either celebrate what I’m doing or shut up and go away. That’s an order!” It sounds like time to check that privilege.

            Don’t get me wrong here. I’m very much in favor of our not dictating how others are to run their lives. I bristle as much as – possibly more than – others when someone decides that they are my parents, my masters, or my God and therefore that I must obey them. But the point here is that the standard should be the same for both. If I don’t have a right to tell you how to live your life, you don’t have a right to tell me I don’t have a right. Your only alternative is to convince me that I shouldn’t tell you how to live your life.

“I can do what I want…as long as I don’t (think I) hurt anyone.” I didn’t put anyone in the hospital, I didn’t nuke the city, I didn’t actively or purposely hurt anyone. Isn’t that a pretty low bar to set? Is it really all about what you didn’t do that makes what you did do acceptable? Did you do anyone any actual good? Did you actually do yourself any good?

Who gets to judge? A child-abuser may claim to be teaching manners or strength. A pedophile will claim he is loving the child he abuses. Of course, we disagree, and I think we’re right to disagree, but if it’s wrong for me to stand in judgment over you then how is it your right to stand in judgment over them?  

Here are some answers to consider. If someone shares Scripture in context and supported by the rest of Scripture (no cherry-picking half a verse), accept it at least until you can discuss it with someone you trust and who knows Scripture. If the primary authorities in your life after God: your parents, mentors, etc.) advise it. Friends do not fall into the category of primary authorities. If it violates your will, but not your conscience, accept it. You may not like what you’re being told, but unless you can point to reasons it is objectively wrong, accept it. If it sets the bar for the behavior in the “doing what is in the best interest” and “doing great good” range, go for it. If it’s in the “won’t hurt” range, don’t.

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