Beauty Secret

 

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. (I Peter 3:1-6)

“Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.” (William Golding)

“If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise. (Rudyard Kipling)

         

          OK, women, let’s put aside the heat-producing topic of submission for a second or two and ask an important question. What makes a woman beautiful? What makes her admirable? A long time ago, I thought it was an appealing face and good figure, which meant, of course, that I could never be beautiful. I learned a little about making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear by dressing carefully, but there’s just only so much that paint can camouflage.

          There are lots of things I think we mistakenly believe make a woman beautiful: real or apparent sexual availability, vibrancy, power. There may be other ideas that come to your mind. In the past, when I’ve thought about this, one of the conclusions that I reached was that struggles and even scars make a woman beautiful. I don’t mean physical damage – but the soulical hard times that deepen a woman’s (or man’s) character.

          As I think about it this morning, there are things that make a woman beautiful. One is love. William Golding’s quote speaks a little about that. A woman who is beautiful is one who turns what you give her into a blessing. Another thing that makes a woman beautiful is joy. I usually say that this is the strong belief that someone capable cares for her, but that someone might be herself. A woman who is beautiful isn’t someone who panics. She’s not helpless or hopeless. She has peace, patience, and self-control. She is kind, good, faithful, and gentle. In other words, a gentle and quiet spirit, purity, reverence, and all the things Peter wrote about. Being beautiful has to do with keeping your head when others are losing theirs, as Rudyard Kipling wrote.

          One of the issues that has been on my mind recently has been health, learning to eat more healthfully, get enough water, enough sleep, enough exercise (stretching, weight-bearing, and aerobic), etc. – but not just for my body. I’d like to learn to do these things for every part of my life. To tell you the truth, I’ve been too busy and too distracted by other things to try to figure out the details and mechanics of these things, but I’m wondering if that is part of the secret of beauty – to be so caught up in living your life and being a blessing that you don’t have time to get caught up in all the things that make a person ugly: gossip, spite, quarrels, etc.