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Valuing Others

            Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. (Philippians 2:3-4)

                First, to be very clear, this isn’t a call for “us” to make the interest of everyone on Earth more important or more valid than ours. It addresses our behavior toward other Christians in our community. This is not to say that we should never look to the interest of non-Christians. It simply means that doing so is not the same as looking to the interest of our fellow-believers, and not as high a priority. It also does not mean believing, saying, feeling, or doing whatever someone wants us to. Looking to the interest of another can mean confronting them about what they believe, say, feel, or do with both love and truth.

                But, this passage does mean going beyond words and prayers, to actively working toward the interest of others. Do they need money? Or do they need to learn how to handle money? Or both? Do they need someone to hear them? To correct the errors they’ve learned? I suspect there have been two worldly reactions to what Paul suggested. The first is to become a dictator, taking over the person’s life completely. The second is to walk away in contempt. This is the “your trials aren’t big or hard enough for me to bother” routine. Neither involves humility or valuing others even at the same level that you value yourself.

                This is a tough question because our immediate reaction might be that valuing another more than we do ourselves means solving their problems (from their perspective) and making them feel good about things no matter what the cost to ourselves. This is a short-term solution that will lead to repeated calls for help and dependency. Or, it might mean enabling them to continue as they have, which leads to codependency. Or, it might mean that we need to figure out how to value ourselves and therefore them.

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