An Antidote to Strife

                 Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice. (Proverbs 13:10)

                Of course, my first though on reading this is, “Oh, this perfectly describes those _______. They’re all about strife.” Fortunately, my conscience is strong enough to point out that I tend to point fingers, too. I like to argue in the formal sense. There are two points past which it is unsafe to go. The first is to venture into the land in which winning becomes the focus. I win. You lose. The second is the trek into the jungle in which the people are the focus. I’m good, smart, right, educated… You’re wicked, stupid, wrong, uneducated… The safe territory keeps the focus on the ideas. This is right, valid, justified. That is not. The goal is agreement, not conquest.

                I have no etymological support for this, but I tend to associate advice with advocate and the idea of “coming alongside.” While we may tend to think of giving advice in terms of pointing at the person we’re advising, a better illustration would be coming alongside or standing next to and pointing in the direction they should go. This shouldn’t be done in the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come way and not quite like a salesman, but in the way one shows someone something positive, with explanations. The goals should be 1) remove stress, and 2) encourage and advise.

                In order to encourage and advise, we need to do something we don’t tend to enjoy or do well (at least, I don’t): Listen. Listening is an antidote to strife and to pride.